The Holistic Career Change Podcast

Start Telling a New Story

May 02, 2022 Vilma Usaite Season 1 Episode 39
The Holistic Career Change Podcast
Start Telling a New Story
Show Notes Transcript

In this week's episode I'm inviting you to revisit belief work & learn more about the importance of a story.

The stories we tell ourselves about our lives, about our future, about our careers determine our reality. We are our stories.

This is particularly true when we embark on this uncertain & unstable process of career change - the way we will frame it in our heads  will affect the success & timeline of our career transition.

Tune into the episode to learn how to start telling a new story.

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ABOUT VILMA
Vilma is a holistic career change coach who helps women transition to their authentic aligned careers and businesses.

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Hi all, hope you are well. 

Doing well, by the way, is a decision. Might sound very triggering to some of you. You might think it’s insensitive to say that doing well is a decision when you may have so many things coming at you. And I get it. It is triggering to me on some days too hahaha. And yet. EVERYTHING IS A DECISION.

You can have any life circumstance and then decide, I mean make a conscious, intentional, decision of what you will THINK ABOUT IT.

When you decide what you will think about it, which perspective or angle you will choose to look from - you will create a feeling state within you, and the feeling state will either inspire you to take action or will lead to you wallowing in inaction/distraction/avoidance. That’s it. 

For instance - you may be thinking about starting a career change journey. You may be in the midst of a career change journey, and you may have thoughts like - this is scary, should I really do it, should I just stick to what I know, some days are not that bad. It’s financially risky, it’s selfish, how do I know that I’m making the right decision, etc etc etc. 

None of these thoughts are GOOD FEELING THOUGHTS. Not one single of these thoughts will make you feel inspired, excited, and curious to explore and try. The chances are, that thinking these thoughts, cultivating them, and spinning in these thoughts will make you feel low in energy, demotivated, anxious, confused, and overwhelmed. As you and I have already spoken about before - overwhelm, confusion, anxiety, low-quality thoughts in general, cannot breed action. They just don't, fact of life. 

What they usually DO cause is - spinning in indecision, reaching for distraction, and coping strategies of choice (often food/pleasure related). Basically, even if you end up taking any action while engaged in those emotions - that action is NOT PRODUCTIVE, or not the type of action that will bring them closer to the result they want.

Now you take other career switchers - or those career switchers that I work with - what we work on cultivating together is a massive shift in perspective. That is they choose to think that career change is an amazing opportunity to course-correct my life. 

'For one reason or another, I did end up making decisions that in some way resulted in me betraying my truth, and now I have this unprecedented opportunity to make it right - for me, for my family, for the future generations to come and even for the generations that came before me, my ancestors who did not have the opportunities that I have right now. 

It’s a privilege to be exploring a new career path. It’s thrilling to know that I am made, meticulously designed for a career path that will allow me to create, expand, play, BE MYSELF, and still get paid, handsomely. 

It’s inspiring to see other men and women creating a life of their wildest dreams. I am ready to put in the work, to work on the belief systems, and take the necessary steps to change my life around. I believe I will build this new path for myself. I don’t even care how long it takes. All I care about, all I think about is that IT’S HAPPENING. It’s a decision I MADE. Let’s offing GO!'

I want to pause here. How do you feel now, as you just heard me share some of these thoughts? The thoughts of someone who’s open, ready, curious, excited, grateful?

Did you get inspired, excited, had a surge of energy? Did you perhaps catch yourself surprised - realizing you didn’t even know these thoughts could be available for someone willingly choosing to step into the unknown? Did suddenly career change seem just a little lighter, accessible available?

What IF you chose to cultivate these thoughts ON PURPOSE? 
ON A DAILY BASIS? 

How would your journey look & feel different?

I want you to think about it. No magic tricks here, simply you choosing to adopt an expansive mindset - the foundational piece in ANY change journey. These thoughts are available to you. TODAY. You could decide and say that FROM NOW ON, FROM THIS VERY MOMENT I’m going to start telling a different story about my fulfilled life that is waiting ahead of me. And every time I catch myself drifting back into the default way of thinking ‘like oh it’s just so hard, I will never figure it out I will pause, stop myself and REWRITE THAT PROGRAMME. ALL IT IS - IS A PROGRAMME PEOPLE. SENTENCES IN YOUR HEAD that you have to right to change. So you can stop and say - no. take 2:
 'I actually CANT wait to see what this new path could look like for me. I see how I was being led up until this point, so I have full trust whatever is to unfold is going to be even better and more breath-taking. I’m excited to be excited every single morning when I wake up, knowing that I am getting up to work and play, create, and spend time with like-minded people and leave a MARK on the world. I cannot wait to experience it.'

And then, the next time you notice yourself drift back into the old familiar thinking - you do the same. You pause and remind yourself of the new story, a new reality you are calling in. And you do it over and over and over again - until this new reality becomes your reality until THAT is the place where your mind goes unsupervised until THAT becomes your new emotional home. So you cultivate that belief and just take the next step. And the next step. And the next step. Believe and take the next step. Until you look around and realize your reality has transformed. 

And SOMETIMES as we are in the middle of this journey of rewriting our story, it may require you to live in this cognitive dissonance - that is - it will require you to hold multiple beliefs about yourself and what you are capable of at the same time. Sometimes these beliefs, and often that happens in career change setting - these beliefs will be the opposite. You may believe - I've never done this before, I'm scared AND at the same time, hold a belief - I know I can achieve this, I know I can do this, this IS happening for me. That liminal - in-between stage- of us leaving the old belief system but having not yet fully adopted the new system is often hard to bear. This is where people trip, drop the new beliefs, give in to fear, run away from uncertainty, and are back to the default. This is where I tell you - if it's challenging to begin with, you are doing it RIGHT. Stop looking at the past for evidence of your failures or mishaps.

Your past does not define your future. There’s not much there for you. I do understand the inherent need we sometimes have to MAKE SENSE OF the past, but really, honestly, sincerely, if you want to create a life that has not been lived by ANYONE in your family, or your neighborhood before - you won’t find much insight and tips in the past. It’s all present and future visioning. 

So the best we can do is spend some time ACCEPTING the past, INTEGRATING and LEARNING FROM THE PAST, and THEN focusing on now and tomorrow. When we accept and assimilate the past - it loses its grip on us, and we naturally just stop feeling that urge to go back and dissect it that much. Accepting the past simply makes space for the new. 
Kinda like the process of archiving - how, before the digital era, people used to archive physical documents back in the day. Anything that’s not in circulation or was not required for business as usual activities used to be documented, archived, and kept in separate boxes often on different premises.

We do the same with the past. We respectfully review, love the shit out of it, honor, extract the lessons, and forgive ourselves if we need to. Forgive our families or those who hurt us and ARCHIVE. Now I will also never say is a simple or easy process. Not at all, it’s complex, it often requires many reiterations and often qualified support and safe spaces. It’s not simple. Yet it's life-changing. We do that, or more as we will probably, to some extent, repeatedly have to do THAT forever and then bring back the focus to new beliefs and the next step.

Now if this is triggering to hear for you, especially when it comes to some of the beliefs that I’ve shared about a career change and what a gorgeous expansive journey it could be - then that simply means, that you haven’t taken up the practice of truly practicing these beliefs long enough. They didn't make the cut into your daily practice of telling a new story, your brain does not go there automatically. YET. It doesn’t mean these thoughts are not available to you. It just means that you haven’t practiced them enough for them to become your story. Ok, and I will say this again, trying not to sound too ranty. It’s all coming from love and wanting to help you all live a life I know you were meant and you freaking deserve to live!

Here's an issue - a lot of you give up too easily. You do. You try a routine 3 times, skip on it once or twice and then you come back saying - oh, I tried it didn't work, probably not for me - the whole morning routine thing. WHAT? How can you even know something is working without even trying it properly, 3 times is nothing. try it for 3 weeks, 3 months, and then come back with serious data points and evaluations. Then we can talk.

Or people will say, but Vilma I did try to tell a new story, and then my mom called, I shared with her this new business idea I have, she sounded really doubtful and wasn't too supportive and then I thought to myself, truly who am I kidding, this will probably never work. THAT IS NOT TRYING. You have spent X amount years on this planet, however long you’ve been around and you think it will take 2 days of journaling, or 4 days of reading new beliefs to change them? NO. It may take months, it may take years for us to EARN those new beliefs. Through repetition, through showing up to the work when we don't feel like it, ESPECIALLY when we don't feel like it.

I remember one of my yoga teachers used to tell me this - the day where you feel like you want to be on the mat THE LEAST is the day when you need to bring yourself on the mat THE MOST. These are the days when you are most likely to create the biggest breakthroughs, succeed at that asana, have an insight, learn something, make that dent. Same with inner work which is always, always, and I cannot stress this enough - always the predecessor of outside results.

I often tell to my clients to access their inner warrior goddess energy. If you happen to be a male, we love our sacred masculine in this space too - then to you, I’d say - access your warrior energy, channel it and fight for YOU for your dreams. Show up on that matt. Especially when you don't feel like it. 

If all it takes is one remark from a friend to bring you down - then truly we need to work a little more on your self-belief, your emotional and mental stamina, as while your dreams will bring unprecedented happiness to you - they will also challenge you, they will require you to show up, to be consistent, grow some. 

This episode is a reminder from me to you to stop playing small because someone told you can or can't do it. They are NOT the judge of that.

I remember when I started vocalizing years back to my friends that I want to transition into coaching, one of my CLOSEST, I mean - closest dearest friends of mine who I had known for nearly 20 years - looked at me and flippantly said, but Vilma, I mean aren’t you supposed to be super healed, sorted out and on top of your game to help people. I mean you have a history of seeking, failing, trying, you still are trying to figure out intimate relationships, how can you help others. I responded with - you know who I am? I am a human being on an effing journey with a deep blazing bright desire to support others on their human journey. That’s WHO I AM. And then I thought to myself - WATCH-ME-DO-IT.

And I'm going to be honest - I did cry for several days after that remark. I remember thinking - am I crazy? Is she right? I didn't have the tools yet to know that it was UP TO ME, to cultivate my belief in myself. It’s UP TO ME, to start telling a different story about my life. IT'S MY JOB, not anyone else’s - to believe me in and believe in the bright future like my life DEPENDS ON IT. BECAUSE it DOES. 

I still do my belief work to this day - with a full practice, the best quality of life I’ve ever had - I still continue believing, dreaming, and then working hard for it. Now it’s your turn. Are you ready to believe in it all even when the whole world is seemingly judging your choices?

Your belief is THE ONLY thing that is standing between YOU and the life of purpose, fulfillment, joy, expansion, and ABUNDANCE that you want. 

That’s it. That’s all there is to it.

Don’t be afraid to fail forward. Fall, get up, re-evaluate, learn, and go at it again. Life is for YOUR taking.

You not giving up TODAY, tomorrow, next week - one day will change the course of other someone else’s life. Because you decided to show up in full authenticity and shine YOUR light, because you decided to use your talents and gifts - no matter how big or small - may save someone else’s life. They are waiting for you to step up. 

Figuratively and perhaps even literally speaking.

Get to know yourself. Learn how to manage the f out of your brain and start telling a new story. Today.

I can’t wait to see you in your full power.

Have a beautiful week!